getting in the groove

So, this has been one of the most interesting of my pregnancies. I'm not sure where to put the pin on it. I knew immediately that I was pregnant, but because we were in the middle of our house I never had time to focus on the fact. I didn't tell anyone until I was 12 weeks and just kept on working. I've painted, framed, caulked, cleaned (way too much), organized, lifted, and worked some super long hours and spent no time really thinking about a baby other than to get the house done so she had a place to stay. How sad, I know.

The doctor said I could be started on the 25th. That would mean in 3 weeks I could be holding another precious little baby, and I don't even know her name. Talk about needing to get it together. I haven't bought a thing just for her. Yes, I have lots of stuff for a little girl. I even have Emma's sweet ballet slippers ready to go, but no little memento for this one. Maybe I'll get myself together and find that one thing that I don't need, but would just be perfect for her.

With Emma I just knew she was going to be little with dark hair and eyes. I've been trying to pin down this one, and feel she might surprise me a little. In ultrasound pictures, her head is not shaped like Emma's, so I'm thinking she's going to have her Grandma's little chin, and big eyes. She'll most likely be bald, but I'm sure her hair will end up a light brown. Could she be the one who get's the recessive gene and ends up with her grandpa's blue eyes? You never know. One things for sure, she's going to look a lot like her daddy, they all have and it's great.

Pregnancy wise. Really, I guess I couldn't feel better. I have more good days than bad, and I can still get around without feeling wiped out. The heartburn has even let up. With my little sister's body pillow I'm sleeping pretty good, and my older kids let me rest most of the time. Of course this doesn't mean I've gotten everything unpacked and my house is immaculate. On the contrary, I need to get crackin'. Three weeks and being tired doesn't leave me a lot of time to put things in order. Hannah, James and Emmaline are getting excited. Especially James. He loves to come over and feel the baby, and shoves her around so he can wake her up. He's really into babies and is always asking to go and visit our friends who have recently had them. We'll see how it goes when she gets here. I'm pretty sure the little cutie is going to have to really tough to survive the love of her siblings.

The excitement is coming. It's just slow to surface. My emotions are tragically out of whack with anger and frustration rearing it's ugly head most often. In anticipation of my time being divided by four I've been trying to stop and hold and love my kids more, and love to hear their stories and spend time enjoying the moment. I have a long way to go and need to spend less time worrying about the things I can't control and love what's going on instead. A big shout out to Cameron who went from busy building a house to working some serious overtime and having major stress with his job. He's such a trooper and his wife is just a complainer. He's been great to read with the kids and help me out with dinner. I almost have him trained to clear dinner as soon as we're done, but we're all getting there together. Speaking of which, I should probably get off the computer for a minute and tidy up before he gets home from meetings.